Life’s a Beach…Or just a lesson in coaching
My wife and I drove over to Delmar Beach on Camp Pendleton and sat outside Ramone’s Mexican Cantina on the beach. We sipped our drinks and ate nachos on a beautiful Sunday, late afternoon, in anticipation of a memorable sunset. Ramone’s is frequented by young marines and their families all throughout the day as the food is excellent.
A young mother, mid-twenties, and her marine husband, same age, sat down with a baby and their four-year-old son. They were waiting for their number to be called so they could collect their food order. In the meantime, as you can imagine, their four-year-old was wired and running all over the courtyard, zooming in and out of tables, running up the bandstand stage, out into the sand and back again. The parents kept a sharp eye on him, but said and did nothing until he came back to their table.
“Listen Isaac,” the mom said, “Give me five for coming back to the table and being such a good boy.” He did so and he also high-fived his dad, and off he went again. Every time he returned, which he did more frequently now, he expected another high-five, which he got, along with the wink of an eye from his dad and a pat on the butt from his mom. Isaac was on a mission; he knew exactly what was expected of him, he wanted to do it, he felt good about pleasing his parents and he was learning something.
“Mom, dad, did you see, I came back faster this time?” Isaac asked. (He was improving).
“We did son, well done!” They answered, “Why don’t you sit down now ready for your dinner?”
And he did and I smiled.
This is coaching at its finest. Positive reinforcement while teaching a simple lesson, rewarded by praise which immediately builds excellent self-esteem. The child was eager to explore and perform and wanted to do it over and over again. The more he ran away, the faster he returned until he had absorbed the lesson in its entirety and filed his freshly learned skill ready for the next game.
Out on the sand I watched another family heading back towards the parking lot. The mom was laden with bags and towels while dad dragged a cooler, an umbrella and the arm of his six-year-old son who was attached to the other end. He was being dragged backwards along the sand, crying while his absent minded father screamed at him.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to run away from us? You can get yourself killed in those waves out there. Are you totally stupid? You are not playing video games tonight. THAT’S IT – GOT IT?”
You see the difference? The subject of the lesson is the same, but the teacher and the method are different. First of all there is limited freedom and no example of what to do and how to do it correctly. It also lacks a clear and concise explanation. Both children are loved just the same and the parents have the same concerns for their safety, but we can assume that the latter child was not being observed closely enough. Also, berating a child or a player causes resentment and frustration in the player, even the embarrassment of being dragged across the sand in front of other children has to also be endured. This child is not talked to in a calm and controlled voice and manner, but rather he is screamed at. And to top this off, it is followed by a punishment. Family or coach number one delivered the message with little or no stress. Family or father number two, seemed very agitated with poor body language and a forceful demeanor.
It is just the same lesson taught in two different ways. Think about it!
What kind of coach are you? And what kind of parent are you on the sideline?
Food for thought, and if you really like great Mexican food visit a Ramone’s location near you – entertainment is free!
Steve Yorke – Director of Coaching
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RECREATIONAL SOCCER & OTHER COMPETITIVE NOTICES
Fall Registration is now open and we are actively seeking volunteer coaches. Please contact Franki Cira our Director of Competitive if you are interested.
Now that Spring Season is done we look back at any needed improvements we can make. Your suggestions are accepted and considered. Maria Rosales and the entire organization at Escondido Soccer Club would like to thank all of the volunteers who unselfishly gave their time to make this season a success for our children. Thank you all, well done!
Still looking for more volunteers for our upcoming committees for Opening Day and out End of Season Party. Please contact Jessica Escobedo if you’re interested.
We have a Boys 2005 team looking for a few good competitive players, if you are interested or know someone who is please contact Jorge Gonzalez at 760-443-7029 or email him by clicking here.
If you missed our Younger Team Tryouts in February, we still need a few players in certain age groups.
Girls 2010 – Contact Robbie Jeffers
Girls 2009 – Contact Juan Ochoa
Boys 2008 – Contact Franki Cira
Boys 2010 – Contact Jose Luis Gonzalez
Jose Luis Gonzalez
State and National Cup are still under way for our older competitive teams.
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INTERNATIONAL EXHIBITION GAME
On April 4th our Select 2002/2003 team played Salford Boys of Manchester, England in a friendly exhibition international game. The game itself was a huge success and we competed very well taking the lead 1-0 in the first half with a goal by Robert Workman. This was marred by a serious first-half injury to the Salford number 3 who broke his ankle in two places. While the young man was taken to the hospital the game continued with good physical action and fast breakaways. Salford deservedly scored the equalizer in the final minute of the game.
Final score FC Heat Select 1 Salford Boys 1
The girls in the snack bar were working overtime as the crowd was heavy. There must have been close to 1000 people around the field and watching from the hillside at the road. This was a huge success for the club and all of the money made went to the club scholarship fund. Thank you to Carlos Hernandez who got the field in great shape for the game and to Tracy Wright and Kristin Fox for manning the snack bar along with their assistants. Thank you to Lennon Yorke who assisted in getting the injured young man to the hospital unscathed.
This game in itself was an experiment. One that bought together players from different Heat teams as one in a very short period of time. We also bought together coaches from these age groups to work together as a team in order to achieve their goal – to compete well. This was a total success and for that I would like to thank the following coaches: Martin Lopez, Leo Escobedo, Alvaro Melgoza, Albert Navarrete, Denis Sweeney, Bryan Wilkes and Franki Cira.
Well done men and boys of the team, you did a great job!
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RYAN PARK IS NOW CLOSED FOR IMPROVEMENTS
Carlos Hernandez and the City of Escondido and staff will be working on the fields during this time of the year while they are closed. When we return the fields should be in pristine condition.
For all those coaches and teams who are practicing at different school venues, please be considerate of these facilities and leave them in better shape than when you found them. If you need copies of insurance paperwork please email Christine Escobedo for assistance.